


Relevant

by SpongeGuy



Series: The Milo Murphy's Law Wiki Guy AU [23]
Category: Milo Murphy's Law, Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Angst and Hope, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 10:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20599574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpongeGuy/pseuds/SpongeGuy
Summary: Nobody Cares About Jim.Unfortunately, he cares about everyone else.So. Very. Much.A tale of looking for relevance in a seemingly unforgiving universe.





	Relevant

Morning in Danville.

The sun rises as Jim, a totally average guy, wakes up.

Well, that’s a lie.

Jim isn’t average.

Actually, deep down, he’s special.

If only the rest of the world could see that.

Jim gets out of bed and air drums around the house while getting dressed.

Dark green polo. 

Grey jeans with a visible seam. 

And a white watch on his right wrist.

A self bought gift.

No one buys him gifts.

But Jim won’t let the lack of giving distract from his giving!

He has a quick breakfast of “Dr. Zone-O’s” while he watches TV.

The sweet taste of the cereal almost numbs the usual pain.

Almost.

He looks at the spoon with googly eyes he has on the table.

“Spoony, you wanna watch some TV?”, he asks hopefully.

He picks the spoon up and pretends to speak from it.

“No way, Jim! Why would anyone want to hang with you? Loser!”

He puts the spoon down.

“You don’t have to be so mean, Spoony!”, Jim says.

He sighs.

“My only friend is a spoon and he hates my guts.”

But again, Jim refuses to let the sadness cloud the potential importance of today!

He might help someone!

He might brighten someone’s day!

He might…

““The Italian Mob killed nearly every single person in the building. These were the chilling last words heard from the only survivor: “Don’t save me! Living would be a fate worse than death.” Spooky. Moving on, tonight on the “Underappreciated Gems” channel, we will be showing “The Emperor’s New Groove”!, said the TV Anchorman.

He might watch “The Emperor’s New Groove”!

“I love that movie!”, Jim thought happily.

He started to air drum the chase theme of the movie, when another sad thought struck him.

“If only there was someone I could see the movie with.”

Jim sighed.

Jim had a problem:

He cared so much about everyone else.

But everyone else…

Didn’t care about him.

Jim had never had a single friend in his entire life.

He’s 32.

That’s a long time to think “Maybe today someone won’t think I’m trash!”

Jim got up and clenched his fists, trying to rid his mind of the negative thoughts.

“Shoo, negativity, shoo! I won’t be depressed! I can’t be depressed! People need me!”, he said out loud.

His thoughts were quick to answer.

“No one needs you. You can’t help anyone.”

Jim tried to block them out.

He walked off to the front door.

“Stay positive, man. Stay positive.”

He breathed to calm down.

“Maybe today… I’ll help someone.”

He smiled through the pain of loneliness and disappointment.

“I better get to it! It’s time to be a hero!”

He took out his MP3 and pressed shuffle.

The first few bars of the “Guardians of The Galaxy” theme plays.

He hums along, but it’s not for today.

Shuffle.

“Every day I wake up,

I hope I'm dreamin'.

I can't believe this BLEEP.

Can't believe you ain't here…”

“Woah! Not today!”, he thinks.

Shuffle.

“Look at the stars…

Look how they shine for you.

And everything you do.

Yeah, they were all yellow…”

Shuffle.

“Look at me...

I may never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter.

Can it be?

I'm not meant to play this part?...”

Shuffle.

“I know a girl from an island.

She stands apart from the crowd.

She loves the sea and her people.

She makes her whole family proud…”

Shuffle.

“I have often dreamed, of a far-off place,

Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me.

Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face.

And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be!...”

Shuffle.

“It was a recipe for disaster.

A four course meal of no sirree.

It seemed that happily ever after…

Was happy everyone was after me…”

Shuffle.

“Some people settle for the typical things,

Livin' all their lives waitin' in the wings.

It ain't a question of if,

Just a matter of time,

Before I move to the front of the line!...”

Shuffle.

“You can count on him.

He'll always let you down.

While you hang about for him.

He's in another town…”

Shuffle.

“A winter's day…

In a deep and dark

December

I am alone…”

Shuffle.

“I hurt myself today.

To see if I still feel.

I focus on the pain…

The only thing that's real…”

Shuffle.

“You do it for him!

And you would do it again!

You do it for her, that is to say

You'll do it for him…”

Shuffle.

“Yes, I turned your clogs into frogs,

And yes, I changed your flute to a newt.

But now I'd like to show that I'm sorry,

Though they're kind of cute!”

Shuffle.

“I am a question to the world.

Not an answer to be Heard,

or a moment that's held in your arms…”

Jim feels a tear threating to come down, but he quickly wipes it.

He can’t be sad.

Heroes smile.

Shuffle.

“They say we are what we are,

But we don't have to be!

I'm bad behavior but I do it in the best way!

I'll be the watcher (watcher) of the eternal flame!

I'll be the guard dog, of all your favorite dreams!…”

Jim smiled.

“Now we’re talking!”, he said, and he pumped his fist, causing him to smash his elbow on his doorway.

“Ow!”, he said, and he stumbled forwards, tripping on his lawn mower and falling on the grass.

He got up.

“Bad start, but it won’t continue!”, Jim said, but one could sense that he had said those words many times.

Things usually stayed bad.

Maybe…

Maybe today…

Suddenly, he spotted Mr. Jones, his neighbor.

Mr. Jones was a balding, middle aged and overweight man.

He, like many others, saw Jim as a nuisance, an unnecessary presence.

Mr. Jones right now was building a bird house.

Jim, ever eager to help, called for his attention.

“Mr. Jones! Mr. Jones! Do you want some help?”

Mr. Jones rolls his eyes and shouts at Jim.

“No, Jim. I want you to leave me alone! I can do this on my own, and I don’t need your help!”

Jim’s spirit sank, and he abandoned the idea.

Jim began his trek to the station.

The streets were cold and empty.

Jim sighed.

He wished he had some friends.

Someone to talk to.

Maybe heroes aren’t meant to have friends, he wonders.

Still…

It would be nice.

As Jim walks, and Fall Out Boy blasts inspirational lyrics into his eats, he moves to the music, enjoying the small bit of hope it instills in him.

Suddenly, he sees an old lady.

“Sonny, can you help me cross the street?”, she asks sweetly.

Jim pumps his fist.

He can’t believe his luck!

Finally, someone he can help!

A day to be saved!

A spirit to be brightened!

A person to be helped!

Jim won’t pass on this opportunity!

“Of course, mam!”, Jim says, and he rushes over to take her arm.

They begin to walk, but just when things are looking up for Jim…

“GIANT ICE RINK!”, Zack shouted, and Milo, Melissa and Zack accidentally swept multiple random people onto a giant floating ice rink going down the road.

“This is worse than the episode of Dr. Zone where he fought frozen fish sticks! What a waste of time that was! I immediately reported my disgust to the wiki!”, Kris complained.

“Sigh. Of course I got swept up in this. It’s just one mistake after another.”, Joni said sadly.

“Woah!”, Jim said, and he tried to get his balance back, but slipped and crashed out of the ice rink and into a trash can.

As Jim got himself out of the garbage, he saw the old woman get to safety on the other street.

Jim smiled softly.

“Well, at least she got to where she wanted.”, he thought, and he got up and resumed his walk.

Jim continued his walk and soon found himself next to Josh’s convenience store.

Jim looked in, and saw Josh stacking cans.

“Good morning, Josh! You need any help?”, Jim asked, hoping that maybe this could be his good deed.

“Yes, I do need some help: I need you to get lost!”, Josh said meanly.

“Are… Are you sure? I would be very happy to help! See, I’ve been having a pretty bad day… Well, that’s not new, but… Anyway, helping you could also help me! It’s a mutual helping thing! So, can I help?”, Jim asked.

Josh looked up, annoyed.

“Guess what, Jim? Nobody cares!”

Ah.

Nobody cares.

Jim had heard that many, many, many times.

Didn’t make it hurt any less.

Jim walked away, deflated.

Josh finished stacking the cans.

Suddenly, the cans became sentient, and left.

“Come, my brothers!”, said the leader of the cans. “We cannot miss the bingo tournament at Grandpa Lelwyn’s!”

Josh stared blankly at the readers.

“Yeah, I didn’t get that either.”

Jim was nearing the station now.

Not Jim’s favorite place.

He had graduated from Police Academy a year ago with good grades…

Ok, the grades were ok, but still!

Yet, despite his eagerness to help and his somewhat competent nature, Jim didn’t get a beat of his own.

He was still on parking ticket duty.

“Even Judy Hopps got to stop criminals after 2 days of that!”, he thought, a little bitter.

Then, he remembered what actually happens in the movie.

“Wait, she only got out of it because of a missing persons case. Thank goodness we don’t have that in Danville!”, Jim thought.

Still…

He wished he could make some sort of difference.

He felt so…

Useless.

Pointless.

Irrelevant.

He just wanted to help.

But it seemed he couldn’t even do that.

Jim sighed again.

Was it asking too much to want to justify your existence?

Suddenly, Jim heard a faint, but familiar meow.

His mood immediately brightened, and he cut to the alleyway near the station.

“Hey, sweetheart.”, he called quietly but warmly.

The source of the meow edged its way slowly to Jim.

It was a small, thin, sickly kitten.

She lived alone.

No parents.

No friends.

No one in the world to take care of her.

This is when the readers realize that the writer tried to make some sort of connection between Jim and the kitten, but then face palms since he goes ahead to point out said connection, thus making himself look stupid in the process.

Oh, wait.

Never mind.

Moving on, Jim stays careful of the kitty, but takes out a tin of cat food and a bowl and prepares breakfast for her.

She digs in ravenously.

He chuckles, and, smiling warmly, scratches behind her ear.

“Stay safe, ‘kay?”, he says, and walks into the station.

Jim’s smile quickly disappears.

Due to his constant failure to receive a beat, Jim is ridiculed by the rest of the policemen, who consider him to be a nobody who just so happens to work with them.

Jim tries to ignore the taunts.

But…

They still hurt.

“Hey, Jim! If it isn’t the worst policeman ever!”, Brent, the most popular cop in the station says.

Jim grimaces.

Here it comes.

The pain in his chest.

“Hey, Jim! Give me a call if any of those parking meters holds anyone hostage, ‘kay?”, he jokes, and he laughs hard, the rest of the precinct following suit.

Jim tries to ignore.

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…”, he counts and breaths to calm down.

“Maybe we should arrest him! No man should be that pointless!”, one cops says, and the precinct roars with laughter.

Jim ignores and ignores.

He could say something.

But deep down, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

Even these jerks.

Who knows what they could be going through?

After all, Jim wasn’t the only depressed person in the world.

He also didn’t say anything because…

He sort of agreed.

He was pointless…

“No! No!”, he thought and closed his eyes.

“I must stay positive! A hero smiles at the face of danger! He inspires! He can’t wallow in misery!”, he says to himself.

But it’s getting harder and harder to do that.

Suddenly, Jim notices his co-worker Sheila reading a book about turtles.

“Ooh! Cool book, Sheila! Did you know that some turtles can live up to a hundred years old?”, he said.

“No! Did you know that I don’t care? Because nobody cares, Jim.”, she said dryly.

Jim sighed.

He got up and slipped on some spilled coffee.

Everyone laughed at him.

Suddenly, the chief, an old but kindly man, one whose face could radiate both silent determination and all encompassing pride, entered.

Everyone sat down.

Jim got up, tried to dry his trousers with his hands, failed, and sat down.

The chief walked up to his podium, putting down a newspaper that reported the arrest of Sergio McGuiness.

“Men, here are today’s beats: Brent gets Main Street…”

Brent flexed his outrageous muscles.

His clothes ripped except for a pair of speedos.

Does the writer have a thing for muscular men?

Actually, no.

He mostly prefers women, but heck, if he sees a handsome man, he’s not afraid to say it.

For example, Chris Evans is pretty ho…

“Can we get back on track?”, the Chief asked, annoyed.

The writer sheepishly went back to business.

“Ok. So, all of you will take your regular beats. And Jim…”

Jim looked up.

Did he dare hope?

Would today finally be the day where…

“Parking meter duty.”

Jim lowered his head.

Would he ever get a beat?

Suddenly, he noticed all the gum under the tables.

“Eew!”, he thought, but he began to scrape it off.

Sure, it was gross, but Jim figured that letting others get grossed out by this would be mean.

He had cleaned 3 tables by the time everyone had left.

The Chief approached Jim.

“While I appreciate the gesture, Jim…”

Jim, surprised, banged his head onto the bottom of a table, which also happened to have some gum left on it.

“Ah! Gum on my hair! Gum on my hair! Gum on my hair!”

He ran around the room like a maniac screaming.

Suddenly, he set on fire.

Even more panicked, he kept running.

“HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP…”

7 minutes later…

Jim finally calmed down.

The Chief, with a fire extinguisher, picked Jim up.

“Jim, I thank you for taking the gum off the table, but it’s time to get those parking tickets on cars. They’re not going to do it themselves!”

A parking ticket nodded.

“I have a life!”, the ticket said.

“Does it ever worry you how things seem to be alive around here?”, Jim asked.

“I’m more worried about the arc villain.”, the Chief answered, weirdly calm.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”, Jim said.

He sighed.

The Chief looked sympathetic.

Jim didn’t know this, but the chief knew that Jim was a good worker.

“What’s wrong, son?”

Jim looked at him with real sadness in his eyes.

“I… I want to do more. Parking tickets… How am I helping anyone? I joined the force to make the world a better place, just like when…”, he started, but stopped.

He wasn’t going to share this.

Not yet.

The Chief patted his shoulder.

“I know. And you will. But you’re not ready yet for a beat.”

Jim didn’t understand.

“It’s been a year! Can’t I… Can’t I do something?”

Jim left.

“When will I be ready?”, he asked.

The Chief wasn’t sure what to say.

Jim sighed and left.

Parking duty.

He hated it.

As he filed another parking ticket, he saw that he had parked his departmently issued police cart in an expired meter and had to give himself a ticket.

He hated getting a ticket.

“This must be what people feel when I do that.”, he thought, and he felt worse.

“So not only am I not helping anyone, I’m making them feel worse!”, he complained.

Suddenly, an idea struck Jim.

“When there’s a will, there’s a way! Maybe I can make parking tickets fun!”, he thought.

He smiled, and took his MP3.

“Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh,

Don't you know ev'ry one wants to laugh?

My dad said, "Be an actor my son,

But be a comical one!"

As the cheery tune of “Make ‘Em Laugh” played, Jim went to work making funny and kind parking tickets:

“Dear sir or madam,

Your meter expired,

To brighten your day,

I put a smiley face sticker on the ticket!”

He also wrote lymericks, drew pictures of parking meters getting arrested for being expired, and rapped one of his tickets.

“Apologies for giving you a ticket, sir. In order to brighten your day, I have asked to be executed, and put a warrant out for the meters arrest.” Jim said, hoping that the man would laugh.

Marcus Underwood didn’t.

“I have a father son road trip to prepare for, sir! I don’t have time for a parking ticket! Don’t you have anything better to do?”

He drove away.

That made Jim feel a bit bad.

Did he?

Even if he tried, could he do something better?

Another woman, a Latino with flowy black hair, a serious face with seemingly out of place freckles and a beautiful smile if you got to know her came to him with the parking ticket she received.

“I have an incredibly important case today, you know? Now I have to deal with this?!”, she shouted.

“I’m sorry, mam. I’m… I’m just doing my job. I thought that I could make it more fun with a sticker.”, Jim said, feeling his heart break.

“Well, here’s a frowny face sticker. On my face. Only it’s not a sticker, it’s my face!... Dios Mio, that sounded better in my head!”, she said.

Jim laughed for a second.

The woman also laughed for a second.

This was an odd situation.

“Sorry about the…”

The woman brushed past.

“It’s ok, ok? Now, let someone with something important to do pass.”

Elena Flores (the woman’s name) went into her car and drove past.

Jim watched the car drive by.

He had annoyed two people instead of help.

Jim felt bad.

He thought he could help.

He remembered what the father had said about his road trip with his son.

How he wished he had that.

He suddenly heard a noise, and looked to his left.

The arcade was a popular hang spot in Danville, but, right now, it was populated by only two people:

Bradley Nicholson and Lydia.

The two were co-oping in Lydia’s favorite dance simulator, “Dance Dance Resistance! The Return of The Revenge of The Reckoning of The Revolution…. 2”.

“Come on, Bradley! Bust a move! Put your groove on! Man, I love this game!”, Lydia enthused, dancing her heart out with a smile that radiated pure happiness.

Bradley looked at her while still maintain a perfect rhythm.

A few months ago, if you would have told him that he’d be playing a dance simulator, in public, with Lydia...

He’d have laughed.

And then he would have been furious for embarrassing him like that and he’d leave the premises.

That wasn’t normal.

And Bradley was normal.

But Bradley had learned a few things the last few months.

One of those things was that Lydia was not normal.

And the other thing…

Was that Lydia was his friend.

And she made even the craziest, most dumb things just a bit better.

He smiled at her.

This girl was going to be the end of him.

But he was starting to think he might like this ending.

“You win! Your groove is all encompassing!”

Bradley and Lydia, seeing they won, high five.

Jim then looks to his right.

“Oh, Phineas and Ferb!”, Candace said, seemingly angry.

Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford and Baljeet looked up at Candace, worried they had angered her. 

Only for a huge grin to appear on Candace’s face.

“You were right! Building a giant chimney and cleaning it by dancing steps was really fun!”

She ruffled her little brothers hair, who smiled at the affectionate gesture.

“No problem, Candace! Any idea for tomorrow’s big idea?”, Phineas asked.

Candace opened her car.

“Why don’t we discuss that over some slushy dawgs?”

The kids jumped in the car.

“All right! Thanks, sis!”, Phineas cheered.

“Yummy! This fireside girl approves! Want to share a milkshake, Phineas?”, Isabella asked with hearts in her eyes.

“Sure! We can share with Ferb, If you want to! Three straws in a milkshake. How unthought of!”, Phineas said, excited to be breaking through new grounds of milkshake drinking.

Isabella sighed.

“Quit it, girl. Phineas will only notice you’re in love with him in, like, the last second, before you go to college.”, Baljeet theorized.

“Yeah! As if that will happen! What’s next, I wear a diaper while that happens?”, Buford asked, eerily predicting the future.

“Oh, the futility of fortune telling. We know our futures by making them through our choices, be they folly or fortune.”, Ferb mused.

Perry suddenly appeared.

“Oh, there you are, Perry!”, Phineas said.

They drove away.

Jim then looked in front of him and saw another family.

A weird one…

But a loving one all the same.

“Ok, is everyone ready and present?”, Dakota asked, reading a map upside down.

Cavendish turned the map right side up and smiled at his boyfriend.

“You’re such a scatterbrain.”, he said with a loving smile.

“But you love me anyway.”, Dakota teased, and they kissed.

“Ew! Dads!”, the kids joked.

“PDA’s. My bad.”, Cavendish said with a smile.

Dakota chuckled and checked the kids one by one.

“Milo, your backpack is fully packed?”

Milo showed his backpack with all the surprising essentials.

Dakota patted his head.

“That’s my boy!”

He went over to Melissa.

“Melissa, ready to take some pictures?”, he asked.

Melissa grinned confidently and showed her phone.

“This girl is going to take the best pictures ever! Boom!”, she enthused, smiling.

Dakota ruffled her curly, bouncy hair and whispered in to her ear.

“You’re holding his hand again.”

Melissa looked over at her hand.

She and Milo were, again, holding hands.

But she smiled and whispered back: “Who says I don’t like it?”

Dakota winked at her and moved over to Zack.

Melissa softly caressed Milo’s hand and smiled at him.

Milo smiled back.

“Hey, Zack! How’s that hot dog treating you?”

Zack talked while chewing.

“Treating me fine, Dadkota!”, Zack said happily.

“Joe’s makes the best ones, doesn’t he?”

Zack nodded.

“But not as good as…”

They both pointed at the same time.

“Singh!”

Dakota nodded.

“That guy makes a mean dog.”

He ruffled Zack’s hair and moved on to Amanda.

“All prepared for the trip?”, he asked.

Amanda smiled proudly and confidently.

“Dadkota, I’m Amanda Lopez! I have been prepared for a month!”

Dakota was confused.

“But we’ve only been planning this since yesterday.”

Amanda lifted her purse.

“I have my ways.”

Dakota smiled proudly and ruffled her hair.

Finally, he looked at Sara.

“If Cav and I are busy or fighting ninjas or something, I’m counting on you to take care of your siblings. Got it?”

Sara saluted.

“Yes, Dadkota!”

She grinned at him as he ruffled her hair.

“Ok, gang! Let’s do this!”

Cavendish took out a ukulele, and they all began to sing.

“We’re going to the zoo! We’re going to the zoo! And then we’re going to see some animals!”

Jim watched them leave. 

How he wished he had that.

A family.

How he wished he could contribute.

But did he?

Did he have something better to do?

Did he have an incredibly important case?

No.

He was just Jim.

And Jim was…

What was Jim?

All he wanted to do was help.

But no matter what he did, people either refused his help, didn’t care, or he failed.

Was…

Was there a point?

Jim sighed.

What was his point?

He always looked for the sun, but grey clouds always got in the way.

Maybe he wasn’t meant to look for the sun.

After all, one gets hurt when they look for the sun.

Maybe…

Maybe it’s better to stay with the clouds.

They hurt…

But somehow, they hurt less.

Jim sat down, hopeless.

He’d never help anyon…

“HELP!”, a man shouted.

Jim straightened up like a bolt.

Someone was in trouble.

He would not fail them.

He ran to where the situation was.

A man was being mugged by three tough guys.

Jim stopped.

He’d get in serious trouble for this.

A parking meter attendant can’t take on criminals.

But…

Jim didn’t care about himself.

He cared about the world.

And he would help this person.

No matter what.

He gathered his courage and stepped between the criminals.

“Let the bag go, man! I want all your breath mints!”, the thug shouted.

“No! Halitosis runs in my family!”, the man cried in agony.

“Yeah, well let’s add black eyes to that list!”, the thug threatened.

“Stop!”, Jim said.

The tough guys looked at Jim and raised an eyebrow.

Jim pressed play on “Immortals”.

This was his chance!

He’d be a hero!

He’d help someone!

He’d finally justify his existence!

“What the heck do you want?”, the tough guys asked.

Jim took a breath.

“I want you to leave this poor man alone.”

The tough guys laughed.

“Or what?”

Jim showed his badge (though, I remind, he’s a parking attendant).

“Or you’ll be arrested.”

The tough guys looked frightened.

“Ok… We’ll go…”

They began to leave.

The man thanked Jim.

“Thank you, sir! I really appreciate this!”

Jim smiled widely.

He had done it!

He finally…

Did something.

He finally helped someone!

“You’re very wel…”

Suddenly, Jim felt a punch as hard as steel smash the back of his head, sending him reeling.

A kick in the back was next, followed by an elbow to the chest.

Jim looked up and saw the muggers.

They had pretended to be scared.

The man with the bag had already run away, afraid for his life.

“Did you really think a nothing like you could threaten us?”

Jim gasped for air after a kick to the abdomen.

“Well… Yeah. I thought I could help that…”

He got shoved onto a wall.

“Hilarious. You can’t do anything, you loser. You’re nothing.”

Jim got kicked, punched, pushed.

His head was blowing up inside.

His chest was feeling intense pangs of pain.

His knees buckled from the pain.

His back was filled with marks.

His mouth was filled with blood.

His body was hurt…

But his spirit was broken.

As he lay on the cold street, hurting everywhere, his black eye glistened in the evening sky.

The muggers left.

Jim was alone.

Again.

Jim began to limp back to the station.

He had reported the crime, but with an anonymous note.

He didn’t want to be hospitalized.

He didn’t deserve that.

As he took a lonely walk back home, he looked at the bar.

He could see a few people there.

“Take it easy, Liz… Just another pint might make you feel better.”

He thought he could drink the pain away.

But Jim knew…

He didn’t even deserve that.

As “I’m Still Here” played, Jim couldn’t help but feel it fit.

“I’m Still Here…”

“…Why?”

He looked up at the sky.

“Why? I clearly have no purpose. No one cares about me, everyone treats me badly, and every time I try to help, people either refuse it, or I make things worse.”

He choked back the tears.

“I can’t help anyone. I can’t do anything. I really am…”

He didn’t want to say the last word.

But he knew it was true.

“I… am nothing.”

He flashbacked to many years ago.

Halloween.

1991.

Jim was but a 6 year old boy, still friendless.

He was dressed like a policeman, but he didn’t really know what that was.

He just liked the uniform and badge.

He had a decent amount of candy, and he was walking with his mother when…

“Give it back!”

Jim turned around.

He saw little Bobby Drake, age 4, dressed like a fish, trying to reach his candy.

A bigger kid dressed like an alien was laughing as he ate the little kids candy.

“What’s the matter, pipsqueak? Can’t weach?”, the bigger kid laughed evilly.

Jim, despite his size and lack of strength, would not let this stand.

“Hey!”

The alien turned.

Jim stood between Bobby and the mean kid.

“Give that candy back! It’s not yours and it’s not fair!”

The alien laughed.

“You really think you can stop me, nothing?”

He motioned to some other kids.

“Hey, guys, look! Jim Nobody thinks he can beat me!”

The alien kid clenched a fist.

“Let’s see how tough you are after I teach you a lesson!”

Jim gulped.

He closed his eyes as he braced himself.

“At least I’ll die a hero…”, Jim thought, when suddenly…

“Stop.”

The kids looked up.

A large figure appeared, a glow illuminating from him thanks to a street lamp.

His hat stood straight and tall.

His badge shined, a promise of protection emanating from its glow.

His hands at his hips, his body tall and overwhelming, his presence calming…

He was a police officer.

He stared at the alien boy.

“Are you looking for trouble, little man?”

The alien boy panicked.

“No… Sir…”

The policeman smiled.

“Good. Because I believe you made a mistake. I see two bags of candy. I believe you may have “accidentally” swiped that.”

He put his hand on the alien kid’s shoulder.

“If you will please return it to its proper owner.”

The alien boy, not wanting trouble, gave the bag to the Bobby.

He ran off.

“Thank you, mister!”, Bobby said, and he skipped along.

Jim was happy that all went well.

He was also star struck.

That man had managed to save Bobby and him.

He wasn’t afraid.

He wasn’t thinking of himself.

With one small act, he made the world a better place.

Suddenly, the officer whistled for his attention.

“Hey, kid…”

Jim looked up in awe.

The officer smiled.

“Good job backing me up back there. Keep up the good work, and you’ll help a ton of people!”

The officer winked and left.

Jim looked to the sky.

He looked at his badge.

He swore that day.

“I swear to help everyone! Just like that man, I’ll make the world a better place! I’ll be a hero too!”

Now, 26 years later, Jim was looking to the sky and wondering how he could fail so badly.

“I… I just wanted to help… But… I failed. Why… Why am I alive?”

Jim cried.

“I let him down. I couldn’t be a hero. I am a nobody. No one cares. And they shouldn’t. I don’t deserve to be alive.”

He walked up to his door.

“Maybe… Maybe it’s time I gave up. Maybe… Maybe the pain will go away… If I stop…”

He broke down crying.

His existence was…

Pointless.

“Just kill me already! I’m nothing! Nothing!”

He cried.

Tears streamed down his face.

“If it makes the world a better place… Then get rid of me. I failed. I’m nothing.”

But suddenly…

“Mistew?”

Jim turned around, and saw the source of the small voice: Concepcion.

She looked sad too.

“I’m sorry, little girl, who are you?”, Jim asked.

He didn’t recognize her.

“I was the one who told you about the molasses…”, she started to explain, before beginning to sob.

Jim, despite all his pain, immediately rushed to her aid.

“What’s wrong?”, he asked, sympathy in his voice.

Concepcion, her bottom lip quivering, pointed to her knee.

It was bleeding from a scrape.

Jim gasped.

“How did that happen?”, he asked, worried.

She pointed at two older boys, roughhousing.

“They pushed me. Said they didn’t want any babies next to them.”

She pouted.

Jim was hurting.

He had given up on life just a moment ago.

But…

But this was more important.

So he was a failure.

He couldn’t stand idly while this happened.

He didn’t care what would happen.

He could get beaten up all day.

He would help Concepcion.

He stood up.

He straightened his hat.

He cleared his throat.

He patted his badge.

He walked up to the boys.

“What’s going on here?”, he asked.

The boys looked at him.

“What do you want, man?”, they asked.

They raised their fists.

Jim got scared.

Suddenly, his knees buckled from the pain, and he went down to his knees.

The kids smiled maliciously.

Concepcion gasped.

Jim looked back at her.

He…

He wouldn’t let her down.

It didn’t matter if he got hurt.

It didn’t matter if he got killed.

None of that mattered.

Someone needed him.

And this time it would work.

Or the next time.

Or the next time.

Because no matter how hard it could be sometimes…

Jim. Never. Stopped. Caring.

And he never will.

He whispered to himself…

“If at first… You don’t… Succeed…”

He got up.

He looked at Concepcion.

And smiled.

He would save her.

He would save the world.

He was Jim.

And Jim…

Cared.

About everyone.

He looked at the bullies and put “Immortals” on.

“…Try… Try… Again.”

Jim raised his courage.

He wouldn’t let another person down.

Not again.

“You hurt this innocent little girl here. I have a right mind to call your parents.”

The boys noticed the badge.

“We don’t want any trouble sir!”, they said.

Jim stared at them.

“I hope. Because… Because what you did is not ok. And I am willing to let you go with a second chance… If you leave this poor girl alone. She didn’t do anything to you.”

They boys nodded, relieved to escape trouble.

“We will, sir.”

Jim smiled.

“Good. Now run along.”

They did.

Jim went back to Concepcion.

“They won’t bother you anymore.”, he said, reassuredly.

“Thank you, mistew!”, Concepcion said, her eyes sparkling in awe from the man who saved her. 

“Now, wait here a second.”, he said, and he ran back inside.

He quickly gathered a band aid, and applied it to the little girl.

“Here you go. All better. But be careful on that knee for a bit, ‘kay?”, he asked, a smile on his face.

“I will!”, she said brightly.

“Will you?”, he asked, eyebrow raised.

“…Well, if I see a monkey bar, I’ll swing on it.”, she confessed.

“You lied? Oh!”, Jim pretended to faint, and made her laugh.

“You’re silly, Mistew!””

Jim then got up and smiled.

“Now, run along! You’re not supposed to talk to strangers, even policemen you know. Back to your parents. They… Are close, right?”, he asked, concerned.

“Yep! Just a few houses down from here!”, she said, and she skipped off.

Jim smiled, and turned when suddenly…

Concepcion ran to him and hugged him.

“Thank you, mistew.”, she whispered.

“You’re my hero.”

Jim’s heart nearly broke.

He cried a bit as she left.

But this time, those were tears of happiness.

Despite everything, despite constant failure, he had managed to make someone feel better.

He had helped someone.

He had made the world just a little bit better.

Jim looked at his mirror.

“Maybe I can help… Maybe… I have a point.”, he said.

He didn’t care how hard it would be from now on.

He would never give up again.

The world needed him.

And he wouldn’t let the world down.

He would always help.

He would never stop.

Helping people…

Was better than everything.

And for the first time in forever…

Jim felt happy.

Suddenly, an idea struck him.

Later that evening, tiny paws scratched the floor, and a kitty who had recently gone to the vet was happily gobbling some food.

Jim petted the kitten.

“Another person, or, well, animal helped, Luna.”

Luna purred.

Jim smiled.

Another happy person equaled a happy Jim.

“Now, want to watch “The Emperor’s New Groove”?”, he asked.

Jim and Luna sat together and enjoyed the film.

Jim swore an oath again.

He would never give up.

He would help people.

No matter what.

Post Credit Scene:

1 Month Later…

Jim was in the station.

Everyone was getting assigned beats.

Jim was still hoping for a beat, but he was a lot more patient these days.

Suddenly, the Chief motioned for him.

“Jim… I’ve been thinking… It’s time you had a beat.”

Jim was overjoyed.

“Is this a dream?”, he asked, and he smashed a char on his face.

“Ow! No it’s not! My face!”, Jim cried.

“Try not to do that again.”, The Chief advised.

“I’ll do that.”, Jim replied.

“Anyway,”, the Chief said and he put his hand over Jim’s shoulder. “I’ve decided you’re ready. Jim…”

Jim grinned happily.

“You’ll be doing your street: “Easy Street.”

The easiest street?

The one with no crime in…

Ever?

“…Oh.”, Jim said.

Coming Soon:

Jim: Helpful.


End file.
